Musing #1: Life as a Journey

I find the metaphor of life as a journey helpful: there is a beginning and an ending, and I am finding my way between them.  It is also helpful in understanding what living a contemplative life is about. 

I don’t think that it is just because I am getting older that life seems to be speeding up.  Childhood has been curtailed; there is an eagerness to experience as much as possible as soon as possible; there is the bucket list which emphasises things that need to be fitted in; there is the constant stream of information.  It seems to me that on our journey of life we have so much to fit in that we have jumped into a car, or maybe onto a plane, to make sure that we get everything done.  We are living life as fast as possible so that we can cram everything in, whatever ‘everything’ is for us.

It concerns me that we get into that car.  We get into a car with people we know – family and friends: people who think like us and want to go to the places we want to go.  We speed past the people who are different to us – we have no time to stop and get to know them.  We are happy and content in our car, but there’s a whole world out there that we have no contact with.  It is not often that we stop to give someone a lift, especially someone we don’t know.

So, maybe, contemplation is like getting out of the car and walking.  Letting go of all the things I want to do and places I want to go and putting my feet on solid ground.  Taking my life one step at a time.

When I walk through life I have time to notice the world around me, wherever I find myself.  To observe the beauty and be in touch with my surroundings.  To notice my fellow pilgrims: to strike up a conversation and connect with someone who is not like me – to hear their wisdom and be encouraged. 

When I walk through life I notice footpaths that lead to places I had never thought of visiting – paths that are too narrow for a car to use; places whose beauty is hidden away from an airport or a landing strip.  I can only get to those places by walking.

And maybe sometimes on the journey I take my shoes off and feel the ground beneath my feet.  Maybe sometimes the path gets too rough and I step off it for a while: onto soft, springy grass or into a pool of crystal water.  Maybe I sit for a while and watch the journey of life pass by or maybe I lie down and simply listen.

It’s ok to slow down; it’s ok to be still.  All that we need is here in this moment.  When we can be still in this moment it opens to us and gives us everything we need.

Life is a journey: it is not a race across the world! Can we learn to walk through it and wake up to all that is around us to help us on our way?

 All is Well: A Journey in Contemplation

a. Tentative

In a world where fake news is rife, and image seems more important than reality, I feel I need to start by being honest.  I am not an expert in contemplation; I do not have years of experience; I am not even sure that I am succeeding (I’m not sure what success would look like).  To me, my life is ordinary.  I work; I look after my children; I do the housework; I meet friends; I meet like-minded people through church and through environmental groups.  But within this ordinary life there is a sense of ‘something beyond’ – something that I want to reach out and grasp, something that I want to find both out there, and in here, inside me.

I am a Christian, so the name I give to that something is ‘God’.  Calling God a something may sound heretical or blasphemous, but I am reminded that in the Bible we are told that God did not want to give himself a name.  He called himself ‘I am who I am’, and the Jewish name for God – Yahweh – was made so that it could not be spoken.  God can not be put in a box neatly, with a label: I use male pronouns for God hesitantly because God is beyond gender and sometimes using female pronouns seems to make more sense.  God is beyond our understanding, and yet he – or she -  lives in us, and we find him/her all around us in the world. 

For me, contemplation is tuning in to God.  I believe he lives in me; I believe he is ‘ever-present’, alive in creation.  Contemplation is remembering that.  Finding the peace that he gives within and beyond; tuning in to his love which is beyond my understanding.

But I am not an expert.  I write to share my journey as I explore something I do not fully understand, but believe to be there, available to all.  It is a journey that brings with it many questions and ponderings.  But also, times of clarity and revelation, when things fall into place and make sense.

All of this I hold tentatively, because my experience teaches me that when I get to the point of knowing things for sure, when I could write things down with certainty, when I can be confident of something being right, I have probably gone wrong!  The truth that is God, seems like a slippery fish: when you try to grasp it too hard it slips out of your hands.  It doesn’t want to be pinned down; it does want to be sought after.

So, I hold what I think I know lightly: not grasping on to it but holding it with an open hand.  Having an open hand and an open heart means I am open to new learning, and I am open to questioning what I was certain about.  That is the way to enable my mind to expand rather than contract, and if I am to draw near to God, if I am to be filled with God, my mind needs expansion, because God is bigger than I can imagine. God is infinite.

Amazing that this infinite God is interested in me.  Incredible that this infinite God abides in me.  And yet that I believe is true too.  And when I understand how beyond understanding God is then I come to this whole process in humility.  This is not about what I can do: it is not about my intellect, my goodness, my ability to fast, or stay awake when spending time in silence. It is not about getting it right. In God’s presence I find real humility, and I understand that this is not about me, it’s about a much, much bigger picture.  It is not even that I am consenting to be a part of it: I am recognising that I am a part of it – waking up to the reality of the presence of God.

So, if you’re reading this, can I invite you to be open to learn with me?  I share my experiences, not because I have all the answers, not because I can tell you what to do.  I share my experiences because I am learning, I am on the journey and I want to stay on the journey.  I want to catch glimpses that enlarge my thinking and allow me to catch even bigger glimpses. I want to keep learning from others and finding God where I least expect to find him.  You are very much invited to join me!

Welcome to Words and Musings! 

Over the past few years I have been seeking to live a more contemplative life.  This blog is born out of my efforts to understand what that means: it is a platform to share what I am learning; to encourage others on the same journey and to learn by taking time to ponder and muse.  

In 2020, during one of the lockdowns, I felt a distinct nudge to write down some of what I had been learning.  I had a deep sense that 'all is well' and I wanted to explore how this could be the case when there is so much going on in the world that patently is NOT well.  In trying to understand that peace I identified tentatively things that seemed important and started to write down some ideas.  I ended up with nine short 'chapters' of something that I would entitle: All is Well - A Journey in Contemplation.  Over the next nine months I would like to share those chapters with you here.

With a simple blog set up (thanks to my son Isaac!) this also seems like a good place to share other things I have written: talks for churches; ideas from my journaling; the occasional poem.  I find the process of writing helpful in opening myself up to the divine and have been encouraged by feedback I have received when I have shared what I have written in the past.  So here is a place to share with a wider audience - perhaps - and to connect with others on the same journey.

Often I find myself overwhelmed with the amount of information in the world - I have a list of books I would like to read; podcasts I would like to listen to; ideas I would like to explore.  If you're like me in this way I really don't want to add to your burden.  My hope is that what I share will be helpful: bring lightness and expansion; be akin to having a friend walking alongside you on your journey to connect with the divine.

It is with some trepidation that I start to share.  Please feedback to me, gently!  And please share this blog with others who you think will be interested and encouraged by what you find here.