Musing #10 The End of the Summer

As someone who remains caught up in the rhythms of the academic year, the end of the summer is a time that evokes a mixture of feelings.  The freedom that enabled me to set my own pace has come to an end: I step back into the structure of a school day and a working week with all the restrictions and pressures that brings.  And yet that structure is also reassuring and familiar and, at the beginning of a new year there is the hope for the year ahead: new relationships; achievements; projects.  Another opportunity for a new beginning.

This year, as I came to the end of my summer break, I observed a different feeling, that has been there before but is difficult to name.  It is a sense of being scattered.  My summer weeks were packed full of activity and connection.  Each meet up, with family and friends, old and new, was a cherished time and yet somehow it feels like I left a part of myself out there, at each meet up.  And I am left with this sense of being scattered.

I am reminded of the wisdom which teaches that we need to stop and rest because we need to give time for ourselves to catch up with ourselves.  It is like these parts of myself have got snagged into the lives of the people I met with and it is difficult for them to untie themselves and make their way back to me.  There is a delay in the re-grouping.  And there is then a need for me to gather, not just wait for them to turn up.

Autumn, of course, is a time of gathering: we gather up the fruit of the seeds we earlier planted (and the seeds that planted themselves!).  In recognising this I reflected on all the meeting-ups and re-connections I had over the summer in a different way.  Each of them has produced fruit of some kind.  I spent some time looking through my diary and remembering my summer days.  I identified some of the fruit that they had produced: a new insight; a piece of knowledge; a deepening connection; a reconciliation; a felt empathy; a source of support.  These fruits are life giving and yet I nearly left them strewn across my summer.

So, my work now is to gather in the fruit.  Some of it I will eat with relish now: it will bring me joy as I step back into the routine of another school year. Some of it I will preserve and use to sustain me through the winter ahead.  Some of it is small and sweet and easy to swallow.  Others of it are complex: giving me something to chew on and mull over.  All of it gives me strength and becomes a part of who I am.

As you reach the end of your summer maybe you also feel scattered: maybe you equally have a harvest that needs to be gathered and relished, so that it doesn’t rot where it was left.  As we step into Autumn let us gather the fruits of our summer sowings to strengthen and encourage us on the road ahead.